It can be difficult to be a woman in the disabled dating arena. A lot of things can go wrong for you more than it can for your male counterpart. Plus, men can be really dense about a few things. Well, no worries. Here are a few tips on what to do and not to do during a date:
1) Timing is important – Timing as in ‘on time’. No matter what they say, there is no such thing as ‘fashionably late’. For the first date, this can give the guy jitters and make him think that you’ve stood him up. For the later dates, having him wait for you in the living room for half an hour with either your roommate, your sister or, worse, your father is not something you want him to do – whether it be for the embarrassing stories or Dad’s ‘eyes of doom’.
2) Keep your head on straight – Yes, we all know dates are supposed to be fun, but knowing what’s going on is important both for your own safety and for you love life. Is your date acting suspicious or just nervous? Maybe you’d want to end the date early or do something to calm him down. Is he taking notice of what you’re wearing or just ogling? The choice to either wink at him or just stare knowingly is up to you. Is his attention on you or the girl next to you? You might wish to reward him with a smile or a slap. Situational awareness is not just for soldiers on the front but also for young women on the prowl.
3) Be nice – Have a positive attitude, find things that you like and tell him. Compliment him about his clothes, how he looks and how well the date is going. It puts him at ease and also makes him feel important. It also shows him that you’re taking notice of him and you appreciate him. But, don’t lie. Like I said, look at the bright side of things – the service of the restaurant may have been slow but the ambience was terrific. Try making it into a habit, you aren’t lying – you’re just being diplomatic!
4) Do not complain – This may be technically part of tip three, but it deserves a separate heading. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell him that something is wrong or something makes you uncomfortable. The way you phrase it and the tone you use is important here. ‘Venting’, like we do with our girl friends, is not going to go over well with him since he’ll probably misinterpret it. Grin and bear it then tell him after the date in calm, reasoned tones your problem. Trust me, he’ll understand and he’ll try to make it up to you.
5) Enjoy the date – A date is a chance to get to know each other and to enjoy yourselves. Have fun during the date. Try not to be hyper-critical and just take things in stride. If you’re not having fun, your date will notice and, trust me, he will get nervous which will probably start ruining the experience for both of you. Also, just let your guard down for a little while. Let him see the real you. He may or may not like it, but in the end he will appreciate the honesty of the act. Besides, if he doesn’t like you for you, why should you keep on disabled dating?
6) Afterwards, show interest – If you really like the guy, waiting for the call after a successful date is nerve-wracking. You know he’s interested and you’re definitely interested, you’re just waiting for him to call you so you could arrange another date. Try giving him a day or two. He usually has to get his act together and work up the courage to call. If he doesn’t call, he’s probably still tongue-tied from being in your presence. Call him up to say hello. Talk about the date and how you had fun and give hints. No matter how dense he will pick up on it and he’ll probably be asking you for another date!
7) Be consistent – For those who’ve crossed the ‘First Date’ Rubicon, try maintaining the impression you made on him on that first date. Men don’t like surprises except, of course, if they plan them. This doesn’t mean, however, that you’ll just give him the first date you. Talk to each other, both on and off dates, to get to know each other more. What he got on the first date was a sneak peek, what he should get from your continued disabled dating should be the entire reel.
Well, there they are seven tips for disabled dating success! Hopefully, this advice could help lead you through today’s tough tangle of relationships. Happy hunting!
Image by Veronica Rose Photography
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