Don’t Listen to Your Friend’s Dating Advice!
Who would most people turn to for disabled dating advice? Of course to a friend who is successful and experienced in that area. He gives you advice such as “just be yourself”, “give her a compliment” or “be confident”. These tidbits of advice aren’t too insightful and probably don’t work as well for you as it does for him. People who are good with women don’t really know what they do or say that works; they just naturally do something that turns women on.
So why is it when your playa friend interacts with a girl, his results are totally contrary to your results even though you did exactly what he did?
Playa Friend: “Hey good-looking”
Girl thinks: “Oh my god, he thinks I’m good-looking!” (she swoons and blushes)
You: “Hey good-looking”
Girl thinks: “Perv”
Playa Friend: “It was nice talking to you”
Girl thinks: “I loooove him”
You: “It was nice talking to you”
Girl thinks: “He’s nice, we could be friends”
Everyone says that a woman loves a man with confidence. I’m no psychiatrist and have neither the knowledge nor the time to go into analyzing what’s going on in your mind. That is an issue that is too complex. But to be successful with women, you must at the minimum have the appearance of confidence.
The difference is not all in what you say and do, but how you say and do it.
Attitude, tone and confidence are very important factors in determining how the girl will respond to you. If you are wishy-washy, stuttering and approval-seeking when you deal with an attractive girl; she will immediately lose respect and any attraction she had for you. If you approach her and speak to her with confidence and assertiveness, the results will be totally different.
So don’t just seek advice from your friends who are successful with women. Instead observe what they do and how they do it. Go out with a friend and watch his interactions with women and take note of specifics that you may not have observed previously. Study how he talks to the ladies; listen to the tone of his voice. He doesn’t mumble; he speaks clearly and in a deep tone. He makes definitive statements; not wussy type statements. For example, he says, “It was nice chatting with you, give me your number so we can get together.” He states this expecting the girl to be receptive as opposed to saying “I know you’re probably busy but can I get your number so I can call you?”
His facial expressions: He smiles, looks her in the eyes.
His posture: when he walks, he walks with purpose, with his back straight and chest out. He does not look down. His head is held high with confidence.
His touch: When he leads hers somewhere, he puts his hand on the small of her back. When he talks to her, he might touch her on the arm, on her knee, not in a sexual way at first but in a way that conveys that he is not intimidated by her.
You can read books on how to pick up women or listen to guys explain to you how they do it. But nothing can replace actually watching a guy walk up to a woman, start talking to her, and get her number. Even though you may say that you’ve seen this before, you probably thought that he was successful because he was better looking or because he’s just somehow “charming and suave”. This may be so but if you actually pay attention to their interactions, you will discover a blueprint for success with women.
Image by Lonnon Foster